I feel it is my moral responsibility, as the only credible source for information in this world—world being the land of AJtopia where bacon is good for you and it rains Diet Coke—on the subject of Swine Flu. I am a beacon of truth and light as it were, coming to you in order to answer your, the publics, questions and concerns on this pandemic. (On a side note, Swine Flu in AJtopia is called Bacon Flu because everyone here knows pigs are only good for two things; bacon and extra bacon….maybe characters in books too). So here are some of the questions I am hearing and my answers to them: